i took Christopher's picture today.

it was nice, and i booked my flight for Ireland.

i wish that my mom loved me like she loved Tim, but i guess i'll never be in the army. i'll never join ROTC and get my college tuition payed for. i'll never risk my life for the sake of my country- and i'll never be the first born.

i'll never be the child who wasn't arrested and who doesn't have a star-crossed lover. 

who hasn't been caught with scars and a cigarette.

fuck it, i don't even want it.