there is definitely some kind of void that needs to be filled. yeah, high school is out and its a weight off my shoulders, but its leaving something empty. there is a hole where having my father scream "are you up yet?" at 5:00 in the morning was. silent car rides where i wanted to tell you everything. smoking a cigarette behind a concrete slab during math, or lunch lines  or watching her leave school too many periods early everyday.

i think everyone can admit that despite the fact that its a reprieve, its also a loss too. 

lately i feel like so much is missing, and its a weird feeling when you can't put your finger on it. "moving on" i actually happening and its so strange, almost numb. almost like the spring cleans in y room, piles of grocery bags filled with things i don't need anymore thrown outside more door. narrowing it all down is strange.